Act One Chapter Two - Pictures of You

"So, big Shadowrun game this weekend." declared Karl, as they leaned back mid-game to take a break and talk about their upcoming plans. "You in?"

Michael shook his head. "Not this time. I'm off home Thursday night. Going to see Rebecca and to go to our homecoming dance with her."

"Isn't that a bit high schoolish?" teased Mitch.

"Seeing as she's a year younger and still a senior, I'd say yeah."

"Just tell me you're going to get laid. God knows you need it." said Boar.

"You guys are relentless.” Said Michael. Of course, were he being honest even with himself, Michael would have to admit the thought had crossed his mind, even in his anticipation for the weekend. He wondered in his thoughts to touch her, to see her, to take her. Although the seed had been long ago planted, Boar’s teasing had brought to blossom again and now Michael found himself wholly unable to concentrate on the game.

“Goddamn it. Again?” The sharp comment from Geoffrey yanked Michael from his thoughts. The others did not seem to have noticed his mental absence, for all their attention was now focused on the dozen or so six-sided dice in front of Mitch.

“All sixes. I’d say that was a success.” Added Mitch.

“I swear to God you cheat.” snarled Boar. “That’s like the third or fourth time tonight. These dice must be loaded.” He scooped up a few of them and rolled them himself. They came up a mix.

“Not loaded. Just lucky.” Shrugged Mitch.

Boar turned away and looked askance at Mitch, as if brooding. “I don’t buy it.” He grumbled.

“There’s no reason to be upset.” Interjected Michael. “It’s not like we’re in competition here. It’s good that our street samurai is a crack shot.”

“And good at everything else apparently too.” Snapped Boar in return. “Kinda defeats the purpose of having a challenge if Zaphod over here can walk all over it, no matter what it is.”

“That’s really my concern. Not yours,” reminded Karl. “Michael’s right. There’s not much reason to be angry.” Despite his statements, it was obvious from the look on Karl’s face that he didn’t completely believe it was pure luck either.

The game continued, but it was obvious that Mitch’s improbable luck and the sour grapes over it had spoiled the mood. After the encounter, Karl decided to wrap things up, rewarding the players and their characters and then offering one more reminder about the weekend. Boar hurriedly gathered his things and left with little word to the others.

“It was such a little thing.” Commented Michael, frustrated at Boar’s anger over what he saw as a minor issue. “You don’t cheat. I sit too close to you at the gaming table. You’d not be able to pull anything off without my noticing.” He scooped up some of Mitch’s dice and rolled them himself. Again, a normal mix of numbers.

"It's not about the dice." Said Mitch. "Deb's been rather uninterested of late."

"Does everything come back to her?" complained Michael.

"You really don't like her, do you?" said Karl.

"Not really, no." admitted Michael. "She's vulgar and obvious and...."

"A slut?" added Mitch.

"For lack of a better term." conceded Michael. "And each one of you is obsessed because she puts out."

"While you pretend to be above it all." replied Mitch. "Dude, don't be a hypocrite. You're a cool guy, Michael, and I see the way you look at her. Don't tell me you aren't tempted."

"Of course, I am." said Michael. "That's the problem."

"Only because you make it into one."

Michael found that hard to argue with. Now he was angry, mostly because Mitch was right. He was tempted. He did want to be with Deb, to touch her, to hold her, dare he admit it, to fuck her. It was all true and he hated himself for it.

“I’ll see you guys later." Michael's cheeks were turning red from his embarrassment "Next week, if I don’t run into you around campus.” He began gathering his things.

“Have fun.” Said Mitch. "Hey, if not Deb, then maybe..."

Michael gritted his teeth at that suggestion, his anger flashing even hotter, his embarrassment showing even redder on his face. That was, of course, because it was exactly what he was thinking.

“We’ll see.” was all Michael dared reply.

----

Michael stepped off the Greyhound, a bag over one shoulder. He glanced about the familiar sights of Charleston, West Virginia. He was home, first time since heading off to college.

A quick glance of his watch told him that his parents would still be at work for some hours. He wondered then who it was that would greet him at the station. A smile crossed his lips as he thought….

“Michael!” came a voice. It dashed his initial hopes, but replaced them with a new satisfaction. The voice belonged to the youth pastor of his church, Ian MacAlister.

“Pastor Ian.” Replied Michael. “So did my folks send you to get me?”

“They were at work. So I came instead. Got your things?”

“Yeah, I packed light.” Michael shifted his bag slightly to demonstrate. “So how you been?”

“I’m fine, but the question of the hour is not how I’m doing. I’m far more interested to hear about your first few weeks at Virginia Tech. I’ll treat you to Taco Bell if you spill the beans.”

“That sounds like a deal I’ll not refuse. Let’s go.”

Ian walked Michael over to his car. Michael tossed his bag into the back and sat down in the front passenger seat. Ian got in, turned on the motor. The tape deck began playing. “…all I want to do is to fade into you.”

“Dude, rewind.” Requested Michael with a smile. “That’s The Choir.”

“I thought you might approve.” Replied Ian. He hit the rewind button to start the song from the beginning. He put the car in gear and headed across town. “Figure Patrick Street is the closest.”

“Only if you want to avoid paying for parking at the mall.”

“True.” He paused for a bit to focus on the road, then continued. “So, home to see Becca?”

Michael blushed a bit. “She asked me to the homecoming dance.”

“That sounds like good news. Your prom last spring. Every waking minute over the summer and now this. Looks like you two are really clicking.”

“I hope.” Said Michael. His tone was somewhat pessimistically.

“Now where’s the positive attitude?” needled Ian. “You’ll not win her heart that way.”

“It’s a lot harder with me 3 hours away.” Michael briefly considered telling his friend about Deb, but he kept quiet.

“Steadfastness is your ally.” Said Ian, reverting to a pastoral tone. “You know better than I all that she’s been through. Her brother’s death and all that.”

“His suicide, you mean.” Said Michael bluntly. “No one ever seems to want to call it what it was.”

“You sound angry.”

“I am. What he did to her…” he let his voice trail off. "And here I am tempted to betray her!" He thought to himself. "after all she's been through."

“Look,” said Ian as they pulled into the parking lot at the Taco Bell. “all I can tell you is that she’s had a very rough time this past year and that makes people a little hesitant to trust. But you’re doing the right thing. I know you care about her. The longer you stay by her, thick or thin, she’ll come to trust you again. She already does to some degree, or she wouldn’t have asked you to the dance this weekend.”

“I know. I’m just impatient. You want the right one and you hear all the stories of how it’s supposed to happen. And then your own story doesn’t work out that way.”

“No one’s ever does. You make your own destiny, Michael. And God willing, if you make the right choices, hold fast to the right things, you’ll see your patience rewarded. Now come, I want to hear more about Tech. Tacos await.”

----

Ian pulled up to Michael’s house to discover that they were not the first ones there. A bicycle sat in the yard and a solitary figure paced nervously back and forth on the porch, as if waiting.

“Well now. It seems you don’t have the monopoly on impatience.” Said Ian with a smile.

Michael stepped out hurriedly and headed across the yard. Rebecca stepped off and started towards him. Ian hung back and watched.

“Hey.” Said Michael bashfully.

“Glad you’re home.” Said Rebecca with the same tone.

“So, are you two going to say hello for real or what?” said Ian, walking up with Michael’s bag. Michael shot his pastor a baleful glance. “Alright, I’ll leave you two alone. I think I can trust you to behave yourselves alone.” He dropped the bag and smiled at the two of them.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” asked Rebecca embarrassed. Ian said nothing, but merely winked and walked away.

“He is going to get us into trouble.” Said Michael flatly as Pastor Ian drove off.

“I sometimes get tired of his teasing.” Lamented Rebecca.

“He wants what’s best for us and you know it.” Although he wouldn’t admit it, Michael was equally annoyed at Ian’s teasing. He suspected it had spoiled his chance at getting that “real” hello, whatever form it might have taken.

“So, how was your trip?”

“Long. Boring. 460 to 77 to home. The usual.” He paused, building up his courage to say the next thing. “Made all the harder by knowing this long boring ride was the only thing standing before seeing you again.”

Rebecca blushed all the redder at that and Michael smiled at her response. Maybe Ian was right and the barriers were breaking down at last.

“College has been good to you.” She said.

“In what way?”

“You seem different. More confident.” She took him in hand. “More attractive.” She drew closer. Maybe he’d get that hello after all. Michael leaned in to kiss her, only to have her turn away at the last second.

Michael felt a flash of frustrated anger, but tried to keep it hidden. But she looked in his eyes and he knew she could see his emotions. “Not yet.” She said.

Michael let his feelings cool a bit before speaking again. “When?” he asked bluntly.

“Saturday. The dance. There’s a time and place for everything.” Rebecca got a sly look on her face. “Besides, the anticipation makes it all the sweeter.”

“You are such a tease.”

Rebecca’s smile broadened. “Oh, you haven’t seen anything yet.”

----

Friday passed quickly. Michael spent much of that time visiting with his parents, being ignored by his sister, and visiting other relations around the Charleston area, most just as eager as Pastor Ian to learn of his adventures at Tech. Rebecca was in school during the day. Friday night was the homecoming game for their high school. Rebecca picked him up and the two went together, seeing friends who had not yet graduated and a few that had.

Although not all they encountered were people they wanted to see.

“Look who’s home.” Came a jeering taunt.

“Todd.” Said Michael grimly. He was walking back from the concessions, two hot dogs in one hand and a soda with two straws in the other. Michael turned slowly to see Todd, a large husky former-football player. He’d graduated last year with Michael, and much to Michael’s enjoyment, seemed to have few prospects for his future. However, that also meant he had little else to do but stick around his old haunts keeping to his old habits; bullying anyone smaller than him.

Michael had always been a favorite target.

“So, who’s the soda for? You and one of your gay gamer buddies?” With a swat, he knocked the drink from Michael’s hand. It splashed across the concrete, nearly soaking a gaggle of sophomore girls who were walking past.

“Jesus, Todd, aren’t we a bit old for this schoolyard bullshit? We graduated, remember?”

“Maybe we did, but it doesn’t mean you aren’t still a little pussy.” He gave Michael a hard shove, knocking him over on his back.

“Todd!” barked a voice and Michael felt ill.

It was Rebecca. “God, don’t let her see me like this.” Michael thought to himself.

“You should be ashamed of yourself.” Scolded Rebecca as she moved to Michael’s side.

“So, the pussy needs a pussy to help him off the ground.”

“That’s enough” came another voice. Todd turned to see who would dare challenge him. It was his younger brother, a junior named Shawn. “Leave those two alone.”

“Oh, and you’re going to stop me?” said Todd.

“I might.” Said Shawn. Shawn, like his brother, was no slouch in the strength department. Michael knew he was on the wrestling team and although he was a head shorter than Todd, he was more than a match for him.

Todd was apparently not so stupid as to not realize this. So he gave a weak smile to Shawn, shot back an intimidating glare at Michael, and left.

“Asshole.” Snarled Michael under his breath. He started back to his feet, Rebecca moving into help. “Don’t touch me!” he snapped at her, before realizing who it was he was yelling at.

Rebecca stepped back, startled and hurt. Michael realized his mistake. “Becca, I’m sorry. I didn’t…”

“You should go home, Michael.” Said Rebecca, clearly upset. “The game’s almost over anyway.”

----

Michael called Rebecca later that night in an effort to make amends. The call did not begin well, with Rebecca clearly being stand-offish. But as time went on, she softened and she assured Michael that their date for the dance was still on.

“I just wish you’d mind your temper better.” She complained. “This is not the first time you’d snapped at me for trying to help.”

“The last thing I want you to think about me is that I’m weak.” Confessed Michael.

“Todd’s the weak one and you know it.” Said Rebecca. “And so do I. He wouldn’t be able to stand up to half the things you have. Just because he’s physically stronger does not make him a better man. He’s worthless. Everyone knows it. Even Shawn says as much about his brother. Stop worrying about him.”

“Kinda pathetic, isn’t it? I come home from college and everything’s back to the way it used to be. Me the wimpy nerd being…”

“I told you to stop it.” Said Rebecca strongly. “He knocked you down. Don’t make it worse by beating yourself up over it too.” She paused. “This is something else about you that I wish you didn’t do.”

“You’re doing a hell of a job trying to cheer me up.” Snapped Michael.

He could hear her exasperation on the other end. “Alright,” she admitted. “I deserved that one. But please stop. You don’t have to prove anything to me. If you weren’t the person that you are, with all the strength and compassion and loyalty that you have, you wouldn’t have stood by me all these months. That’s all the proof I need.”

It sounded good. He wanted to believe it, but doubt nagged at him. He remembered what Pastor Ian had said about being steadfast. It was not easy trying to be perfect all the time. Michael feared he’d slip up, and each time like tonight where he just barely dodged that bullet, he became more and more convinced that failure was just around the corner. A brief flash of Deborah's face only convinced him all the more.

Rebecca seemed to read his silence. “You okay over there?”

“I’d be better if you were here with me.” He admitted. His doubts always seemed to flee when she was present. His fantasies of making love to her flooded his mind. If he could just be with her that way, maybe his doubts would vanish.

“It’s late.” She said. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” With that, she hung up the phone.

----

Michael’s mood remained somewhat sour throughout Saturday. So far, most of what he’d hoped would happen over the weekend between him and Rebecca was going south. But, he was thankful that it was not as bad as it could have been.

But as the time for the dance approached, his mood brightened and he began to think that maybe some things could be salvaged. So long as he played all his cards right.

As he pulled up to Rebecca’s house, he did a quick check in the mirror to make sure his hair was well-combed. The dance was only semi-formal, so he was dressed in the same sort of sport coat and slacks that he might wear to church. After a cursory check, he sighed. “You know,” he said to himself out loud. “I could use a bit of Mitch’s luck right now.”

He got out of the car and walked to the front door. He paused for a moment about halfway up the driveway to look at the small shrine the family had erected to Rebecca’s brother Tommy. Tommy had killed himself about a year ago after getting a failing grade on a report card. It seemed such a waste of a life and, with what it did to his parents and sister, Michael found it hard to feel any sympathy towards the dead.

The door to the front of the house swung open and Rebecca stepped out. If she was still angry or upset about the night before, it did not show. Instead, her face was practically beaming. Her dark red hair was well groomed and she was wearing a black sleeveless dress that was far shorter than just about anything Michael had ever seen her wear. His eyes lingered on her shapely legs before inching their way up to her face, pausing for a moment (as young men often did) at her chest.

Rebecca appeared pleased by his stare; it was clearly the effect she was hoping for. “You like?” she asked.

Michael found that his command of the English language had temporarily escaped him. “Um…yeah…yes. Wow. You look fantastic.”

Rebecca’s smile broadened again. Michael had to admit that he liked seeing her do that and he felt his confidence grow a bit. “Should make tonight a night to remember.” She said.

“You’ve certainly gotten things started on the right foot.” Said Michael, finding his language skills returning. His mind however had only a single thought: getting her out of that dress later.

If anything of his body language betrayed that thought, Rebecca did not react. But she did step forward and put a single finger across his lips as if to silence him. “One rule.” She said. “We say nothing about last night. No complaints. No self-pity. None of it. You’re mine tonight and I’m not sharing you with your bully problems. Understand?”

Michael nodded.

“Then let’s go. I need to grab my purse and then we’re off.” She turned to dash back inside briefly. Michael watched her go.

“Damn.” He whistled to himself. “If she doesn’t turn every head in the place, I don’t know what will.”

----

Michael found that abiding by Rebecca’s rule to be easy as the night went on. The rest of the world seemed to vanish, along with all of its troubles. There was no Todd. No Deborah. No Virginia Tech. None of it. There was only the two of them together.

Although Deborah did intrude upon his thoughts just once that night. He offered to get some refreshments for the two of them and Rebecca had graciously accepted. So off he went to find the punch bowl and the cookie table. Once there, he took a moment to review and reflect on the evening so far. Glancing back across the room, he could just barely make Rebecca out where she was sitting waiting for his return. “I would not trade any of this for a night in the sack with Deborah, no matter how much she persists.” He thought. “Besides, things are looking very good for many nights with Rebecca instead.” He gathered up a plateful of cookies, poured two cups of punch, and headed back to the table.

He found Rebecca chatting with Todd’s brother, Shawn. He set down the food and drink and gave the junior a cursory nod.

“I see your date has returned. We can chat later.” Shawn stood up and walked away.

“I thought we promised not to talk about last night.” Teased Michael. He had meant it playfully, but Rebecca’s look showed that she did not take it that way. A spike of fear shot through his heart. Had he blown it again? “Did I say something wrong?” he asked tentatively.

Rebecca’s smile returned. “No, sorry. I wasn’t sure what you meant. I forgot he was there last night.” As Michael sat down, Rebecca placed her hand over his. “We’re friends, Shawn and I. He just came over to say hi.”

“Okay.” Said Michael. He was a mix of relief and a bit of envy. In that moment, he understood a bit of why his friends at Tech had said a lingering high school relationship often failed. He wished he could be Shawn and be with her every day.

Rebecca helped herself to the refreshments and Michael leaned back, sipping at his own punch, and just watched. After a few sips and bites, Rebecca got a self-conscious look on her face. “What?”

“Nothing. Sorry. Just…” A moment’s courage took him. “…I can’t take my eyes off of you tonight. This is the prettiest I’ve ever seen you.”

“My, aren’t we getting bold?” teased Rebecca. She was blushing though, clearly flattered by his attention. “Only six weeks at Tech, six weeks of being a college man, and you’re finally willing to admit that?”

“Did I need to admit it?”

“Yes, I think you did.” She replied. “It’s no secret to anyone, not even me, how you feel, Michael. But you walk around like you’re afraid of those feelings.”

Michael amazed himself by his own boldness. He ventured even further. “I’m not the only one.”

Rebecca's eyes flashed with panic, a reaction Michael felt was well above-and-beyond anything his words should have triggered. He was confused. She looked away and stared down at the plate of cookies. “You know what I’ve been through.” She said glumly.

“Yes, I do.” Said Michael. “But it’s also no secret how you feel about me. And yet we both play this stupid little game with each other, pretending its just playful teasing, but really we’re afraid to let the other get too close.”

"There's a lot of reasons for that." admitted Rebecca. "A lot of things I can't tell you."

"I hope that will change in time. We're both that way. Honestly, I can relate. There's things I can't say either. Maybe then I need to take the first step. A leap of faith, as it were." He paused, feeling very vulnerable in his insights. “Why am I saying these things? Why am I admitting this?” His doubts raged, but then he steeled himself against them. “No, don’t retreat. Not this time. Risk little, gain little. Risk much, gain everything.”

Rebecca continued to look at him, as awaiting a response. Michael leaned over swiftly and kissed her on the lips. Of all the responses she might have gotten, that seemed to be the one she least expected, and yet given how quickly she yielded to him, it was also the one she most wanted.

At that moment, the song changed and Bryan Adams “Thought I’d Died and Gone to Heaven” began playing. Michael broke off the kiss. “Shall we dance?” he offered. “One more time tonight.”

Rebecca took his hand and followed him onto the dance floor. She seemed to float behind him, as if on a cloud. Although the song was somewhat upbeat, Michael swept her into his arms as if to slow dance with her. Rebecca held close.

“A night to remember indeed.” He heard her whisper, her head resting on his chest.

“It’s not over yet.” He replied.

“No, no, it isn’t.” she agreed and the dance continued.

The song finished up and Michael guided Rebecca back over to their table. She fetched her purse from its hiding place and they proceeded out the door.

“Where to now?” She asked as they reached the parking lot.

“Someplace we can be alone.” He replied. He had a plan, a goal, and everything was moving towards it. They walked to Michael’s car and he headed down the road.

“So where exactly did you have in mind?”

“Kanawha State Forest. It’s not far. It’s secluded.”

“And what, pray tell, do you intend to do with me there?”

Michael wasn’t sure what to say to such a direct question. Wasn’t sure if he wanted to offer a direct answer.

Rebecca let out a nervous giggle. Michael knew she was not so naïve to not know what he had in mind. “Do you trust me?” he asked her.

“Yes.” She replied. “I wouldn’t be going if I didn’t.”

They drove down out of South Hills towards the forest in silence. Michael knew the roads of these neighborhoods blindfolded; They were, after all, the streets he had grown up on, learned to drive on. So every now and then, he would steal a glance over at Rebecca. She sat quietly with her hands cupped in her lap.

At this hour of night, there were few people in the forest, although its gates did not technically close for several more hours. Michael drove inside and found an empty picnic shelter with a parking lot. He pulled in and turned the car off.

He stepped out into the night air to survey the surroundings. There was not a soul in sight and the only sounds were the sounds of the forest, of birds, frogs, and insects. Rebecca stepped out. “We’re alone.” She said, observing the obvious.

“Just us.” Michael added. He walked around the car to her side and offered his hand. She took it and followed him to the shelter. Her hand was cold.

Once under the shelter, he paused and turned to her. “You’re frightened?”

“A little. I know what you're planning. Kinda big step to take.”

“For both of us.” He admitted. “I’m nervous too.”

That admission seemed to relax her somewhat and she took the initiative this time, leaning up to kiss him. Michael pulled himself closer to her, savoring her lips on his, and running his hands up and down her back. Rebecca let out a nervous shiver as his hands paused for a moment on the zipper of her dress. But despite his eagerness, Michael hesitated.

Rebecca didn’t. She reached around on her own and undid the zipper, the loosened dress sloughing off of her onto the concrete pad at their feet. She shivered again, perhaps partly from the cold.

Michael moved in to touch her again, but she kept him at arm’s length, working his coat off. She loosened his tie, to which Michael reached up to remove completely. He tossed it with the coat onto a nearby picnic table.

She began to unbutton his shirt, but Michael could no longer resist reaching out to touch what was before him. He let his hands run down her shoulder and arms, savoring the touch of her bare skin before moving to her abdomen. He lingered around her belly button and then ran his hand around to the small of her back. From there, he worked upward to her bra and then circled back to the front. He took one breast in hand and gave it a playful squeeze through the fabric.

“You make it hard to concentrate.” Said Rebecca, fumbling with the last button.

“I’m sampling.” He teased. He returned to that “sampling,” running a single finger down from her breasts to her belly button and then beyond, stopping at the waistband of her panties. He looked her in the eyes. There was uncertainty behind them.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m not sure I can do this.”

“I won’t hurt you.” He let his finger continue, down the panties to her crotch. He began to move between her legs, feeling the warmth there, when she slammed her thighs shut.

“No.” she said. “No, I’m sorry, but I can’t.” She took his hand and pushed it away. “Please, don’t.”

“I won’t.” said Michael softly, disappointment in his voice. “But I thought you wanted this?”

“I...” She started. “We shouldn’t. Not here. Not like this.”

“Then where? How? When? Rebecca, I love you, and I know you love me too. I asked you if you trusted me and you said yes.”

“Do you trust me?” she replied.

“I do.”

“Then believe me when I say this isn’t a rejection. I’m just not comfortable with this yet. You said at the dance how we play this game, of how we’re afraid to get close. You were right and I am afraid. I don’t want to be, but there's so much you don't know."

"I want to know. What is it?"

"Not tonight." she replied.

Michael let out his breath, frustrated and disappointed. “Alright.” He leaned down and picked up her dress off the floor and handed it back to her.

She quickly put it back on. Michael went over and fetched his own clothing. He turned back to her.

“Can you take me home?” she asked.

“At least allow us one thing to end the night on.”

“What’s that?”

Michael leaned in to kiss her again. “This, I think I can handle.” She confessed and her lips met his.

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